Being in the wedding world I hear a lot of reasons as to why people get married. And over and over again I hear couples stating that they are marrying their best friend. I love hearing this because friendships are a key brick in the foundation of a marriage. But if I'm being honest, it wasn't necessarily like this for Dave and I at the beginning.
There was a time just after we were married when Dave asked me if I was his best friend. I almost scoffed at the idea. Dave, my best friend? Sure he was my husband but my best friend had curly hair and watched endless hours of Sex and the City with me, we went shopping together and we lounged around drinking warm diet coke (because she hates ice). Dave was my husband, but he wasn't my best friend. I had a girlfriend who fit that roll and I left that part of my life separate from Dave.
Does that relate to anyone else? It wasn't necessarily intentional, but I never made the connection between husband and best friend in those early days of marriage. And truth be told it took a few years for the friendship part of our relationship to blossom. It took trips and experiences and life moments together to form the bond that we enjoy today. If asked now, I would whole heartedly say that Dave is my best friend, the person I couldn't do life without.
But how did we get there? We were intentional. We have spent much time investing in our relationship over these last (almost) eight year of marriage. And that investment has paid off in the formation and strengthening of our friendship. It's been those unexpected moments too that have brought us closer together as husband and wife. Like those moments where Dave is just so funny I laugh until I have a belly ache. Or where he surprises me with something that I love, just because. Or when he fights for me, supports me, encourages me, and challenges me. Our friendship has been the key to the success of our marriage. But more so, our friendship has made marriage FUN! We genuinely have fun together and it makes the everyday moments that we share together ones of joy. Now that we're parents that joy has exploded into evenings, days and weekends filled with tickles, laughter and smiles.
I still have my best girl friends, woman who are an integral part of my life and who encourage and shape me as a woman, wife and mother. Woman who I love dearly and am completely grateful for. However, Dave fits a roll that none of those ladies can or ever should. He is the person who I lean on, seek guidance from, confide in and give my life too. He is my best friend.
Sometimes you're friends before you get married. Sometimes you are best friends. And sometimes it takes a little while for that part of your marriage to be cultivated. It is very much worth the time and energy AND it doesn't have to be hard. It can simply mean sharing a memory, an experience, a laugh or a cry together. It's about building a foundation, one which you can proudly stand on together.
Thanks to the lovely Coco of Krista Photo for capturing our ONE YEAR photos with Jonathan:)!